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Saturday, August 22, 2009

More yucky stuff for your consideration..

Okay, I swear I am not obsessed with poop! (Just Kawaii poop, thanks:) In real life I am a super OCD, type "A", germaphobe. I probably wash my hands 50 times a day and as far as I know my a*# has never touched a public toilet seat. (Even some in friend's and families houses). But when you live in a house with 4 dogs and 3 boys gross becomes part of the package. Do "normal" people wake up at 5am just to get a jump start on cleaning the carpet?? I think not:( So you have to throw out some of your ideals of cleanliness.

For example,  yesterday  my youngest decided that it would be soooo cool to spit on the slide at the park and watch the girls go down! Yes, he is a daddy's boy and South Park viewer. Did I mention he's only 10? So what was I thinking when my older son told me this?? Thank god it was at the park and not on my couch!!

Then  as we are leaving this beautiful oasis of dog sh*t park, my largest dog decides to take a HUGE crap. What does my son do?? Starts screaming the dog is taking a sh&t! Look, look! Now how the heck does this kid expect me to run away and get in my car?? Now I have to scoop the poop:( I told him, "who raised you??"

We arrive home and my husband starts limping around. What's up? I ask, praying to the gods of dog crap that he hasn't walked in poop and is dragging it everywhere. "I stepped in dog piss!!!! Need to wash my foot!!" Yay, something different then crap, now we have dog urine on the rug!

But wait, it gets so much more fun! Finally we sit down to watch our new fav, Asian Extreme movies. (No, not porno, get your mind out of the gutter!). These awesome films are like The Grudge but with subtitles. Anyway, my hubby has our cute little 4 lb. chi on his lap and all of a sudden the dog starts moving his head like the friggin' exorcist!! My husband says, "he's going to yak, I know he's going to yak!!!" Dog jumps off husband, runs to clean dog bedding, yaks all over huge dog bed. Funny part? I didn't know he did this on the dog beds til about 10 min. ago. When what did I see?? Wet dog beds that need to be washed and yes, of course due to the laws of Murphy, the washer is broken.

So I guess the real heart of this matter is do we cage the kids, or the dogs, or both??

More gross crap later, stay tuned...


FYI, I clean 24/7 and you would never know my life is full of sh*t!

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